Elements of the World
by Imaginarivalued
Summary: 20. Zuko and Ozai. Even in prison, Ozai is a hard shell to crack. But Zuko has his ways.
1. Pilot

The many emotions exhibited by Katara, as observed by Sokka.

_**Joy**_:

It was during a pleasant spring morning when he saw his sister arrive for breakfast with the most blissful expression he had ever seen. He was thoroughly confused and disturbed as she giggled giddily and sighed dreamily at random intervals.

It was only after he learned that Aang had just proposed the previous night did her behavior make sense.

(Oh, well, that explains everyth—wait, WHAT!?)

(Cool it, Snoozles. At least they didn't have sex…….that's gonna happen on the wedding night.)

_**Sadness**_:

Sokka and his second son saw Katara desperately hold back tears when she and Aang watched their eldest child and a couple of friends depart on their own journey.

It was a rite of passage into adulthood, their eldest said.

The Waterbending Master was entirely against the idea, even if it was with friends. It was only after much persuading from Aang did Katara finally reluctantly agreed.

Katara had kept her eyes on the ship until it was no larger than a speck in the horizon. Aang, with a warm smile, had tenderly wrapped his arms around the emotional mother from behind, lovingly placing a few kisses on her neck.

When the ship was entirely out of sight, Katara turned around in Aang's embrace and buried her face in his chest, and let loose a few of the tears she had been restricting.

The two parents stood there, holding each other, with the ocean of the South Pole in the background.

(Ewww……, grownup-cooties.)

(Hehehe, that's my son.)

_**Fear**_:

To this day, Sokka had never seen his sister look as terrified as she did that day, the day Ba Sing Se fell, when she carried the lifeless Aang onto Appa, hair unbounded and flailing, eyes wide with distraught, and cheeks marked with twin trails of dried tears.

He had frozen at the sight, mentally unprepared to see the Avatar, his friend, for all purposes, most likely dead, not alive, dried blood staining his torn clothes, not coming back, his back charred and smelt like roasted flesh, and dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead, dead.

Apparently, that was what Katara thought too, because she had looked like she was about to scream hysterically and cry until she was just as dead.

By some miraculous power of the spirits, she managed to stay composed enough to use her water from the Spirit Oasis and to heal Aang's mortal wound.

When nothing had happened, Sokka felt as if all the air in his lungs emptied to be replaced by absolute panic. But then the boy's arrows glowed and he lived, staying conscious enough to give the girl holding him a faint smile.

To this day, Sokka had never seen his sister look as overwhelmed and relieved as she did that day when she hugged the boy that came back from the dead.

(And that's why the Avatar and Fire Lord Zuko are 'scar buddies'.)

(That's stupid.)

(Go to your room.)

_**Jealousy**_:

The world was finally advancing steadily toward universal peace.

As if to signify this, there were less conferences and meetings between figureheads and more parties thrown by whoever and whenever.

It was around the time Sokka had proposed to Suki (he failed epically, but the Kyoshi warrior just giggled and accepted). The Gaang was attending a party organized by an Earth Kingdom noble for reasons he could care less about in favor of succulent meat, and he was dancing merrily with his betrothed.

He had noticed out of the corner of his eye that Aang was dancing courteously with several different girls over the course of the party.

This had been no surprise, as he once overheard a group of giggling Earth Kingdom damsels describe the teenaged Avatar to have upgraded from 'glomp-worthy' to 'down-right-sexy'.

And so many maidens of single status and of marriageable age (and some that weren't) had requested a dance with the airbender, who, in Toph's opinion, was too much of a wuss (read: polite) to decline.

He and Suki had laughed quietly at the young Avatar's predicament of fending off his various dance partners' attempts of subtle seduction.

However, Katara reacted rather differently to the same observation.

As an older brother who was familiar with his sister's more negative emotions, he immediately identified the expression as UNHAPPY.

She was also dancing with some random Earth Kingdom bachelor, but her attention was glued to Aang and whichever floozy (he swore he could hear Katara using that word via sibling telepathy) that decided to latch onto the lad, with one of her eyes twitching periodically.

Really, she had started out fine, understanding and willing to tolerate. But as Sokka was aware of, there was a limit to his sister's patience.

The straw that broke the bison's back was when a girl decided it was appropriate to plant a kiss on the Avatar's cheek as way of thanks for the dance.

Another song was starting, and another girl began to approach the young man, but she was unable to reach her goal as the dark-skinned waterbender intervened by wrapping her arms around a startled Aang.

The clincher came when Sokka saw Katara glare at the suddenly frightened maiden, and GROWLED.

The poor girl had 'meeped' and backed away slowly, as if confronted by a dangerous, carnivorous animal.

Satisfied with the opposition's retreat, Katara then dragged Aang, who looked confused but obviously amused, away from the dance floor and out into the night for, most likely, a private party.

(I can't believe I just saw my sister become a ferocious beast of feminine fury.)

(I can't believe nobody died.)

_**Surprise**_:

Sokka remembers (as if anyone could forget) the day when he and Katara discovered the iceberg that contained the savior of the world. He remembers the look of fascination and awe on his sister's face when she saw the ethereal glow within the prison of ice. He remembers the astonishment they both felt to discover a boy to be entrapped within, and an airbender, no less. He remembers how they were both undeniably pleasantly surprised to find out that the boy was the Avatar.

And he remembers all of this as he watched his sister and the man who was once the boy from the iceberg become man and wife.

(Wow. You must've been pretty surprised back then when you found out you've dug out the Avatar from an iceberg.)

(Actually, I'm pretty surprised right now by the fact that what we really dug out of an iceberg was my brother-in-law.)

_**Anger**_:

Sokka had always thought that he saw the absolute peek of his sister's anger the day Zuko had followed them to the Western Air Temple and tried to join Gaang, to which Katara responded with attempted murder.

This thought was overridden years later during a council meeting at the Fire Nation, where a general had suggested that Aang, as the sole surviving airbender, should take upon multiple wives to produce more offspring in order to revive the Air Nation.

He was acutely aware of the drop in temperature in the room, and the tangible aura of RAGE.

He heard Toph cackle somewhere in the back of the room.

He saw Aang looking nervously at the enraged girl beside him.

He heard Zuko choke on his tea, and saw him reliving a bad memory.

He saw the foolish general's eyes began to flicker, and understood that the old man's life was flashing before his eyes.

He himself wished he had stayed in bed.

(WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!!)

(Very encouraging, Flaming Lord Hotman.)

_**Love**_:

Sokka had been waiting anxiously and fidgeting, his eyes fixated upon the entrance of the structure where a magical and terrifying event was taking place.

There were loud grunts, pained cries, boisterous shouting, and all assortments of uproarious, discordant human clamors.

He had winced at the painful sounding groans and felt sweat forming under his eyebrows, only peripherally aware of Suki placing a comforting hand on his shoulder.

Despite how timeless the entire ordeal had felt, it was suddenly over when a distinct-was-not-there-before cry pierced through the night air.

Sokka had perked up, and looked to Suki, who had an equally excited look upon her pretty face.

He then waited even more anxiously, for someone, anyone, to give the people waiting outside the go-ahead to enter and witness the birth of a new, special life.

But Sokka was never known for his patience. Ignoring Suki's protests and his own senses, he had charged towards the pavilion with unrestrained vigor, intent on witnessing the result of the event firsthand.

He did.

He saw Aang, grey eyes sparkling so much and smiling so wide that his face was not big enough for it, and his eyes were practically forced to squint slightly.

He saw Katara, looking tired and worn out, but ALIVE and GLOWING with something akin to what he remembered seeing in his mother, eyes tender and adoring.

And there, between the two so precious to him, was the bundle containing the sleeping form of the new, special life.

Neither of them had noticed him, completely absorbed in their newfound world.

He saw the midwife smiling at the new family.

He heard Suki gasp and most likely tear up behind him.

He heard Toph making muffled complaints and restrained demands to know the happenings.

He saw the glow of the _love_ that his sister was radiating. The love for the man beside her, and the love for the infant cradled in her arms.

The midwife had approached, nodded to him, and left, and he had understood.

He ushered everyone away, having more difficulties with Toph, who threatened to crush him with a boulder and use his remains to feed insects, to give the family some moments away from the world.

He had been impressed by his own patience, knowing that he extremely wanted to meet his new relative.

But he recalled the love in his sister's eyes, and knew that he was unwilling to disturb the humbling sight that would be forever instilled to his memory,

(By the spirits, I can feel the fluff all the way over here.)

(_WARGL!! WARGL!!_)

(What the!? Who the hell invited Crazy Foam Guy!?)

* * *

AN: I can't believe it, but I'm completely into Avatar: The Last Airbender. I remember dismissing the series when it just began, but after actually watching it……well, here I am, writing fanon for it. Anyways, review if you want, I'll be updating whenever a muse hits me, or if given eyebrow-raising worthy suggestions. Most of these oneshots will be humorous, I believe, because I don't like angsty stuff. Pairings, if any, will be various, because that's what makes it interesting.


	2. Toph, Thoughts

During the nights, when there wasn't cause to sleep just yet, Toph would think, because there was simply nothing else to do.

She could not gaze upon the night sky and admire the constellations. She could not watch the splendor that is called the sunset. She could not observe the change of colors of the leaves during the transitions of seasons.

It was what being blind meant.

Vibrations and sounds were informative, but during the night, when things were quiet, when the loudest noises were the others' heartbeats and Sokka's snoring, they were monotonous.

So when the others were asleep in their respective sleeping bags but she herself remained awake, Toph would ponder.

She would review what she knew of the events of the past millennia and speculate on the possibility of the future of another. She would wonder about the nature of the spirits they have seen and those that still only exist in legends. She would contemplate the world and the imbalance the war of a hundred years has wrought upon it.

But ultimately, these things were negligible to someone whose importance was comparably insignificant in regards to the grand scheme of the universe.

So instead she thought about the people she met in her short life, those who have come and went. She thought about home and wondered about her parents. She thought about those she had yet to meet, but have already heard about from the others.

The others: Aang, Katara, and Sokka.

They were the most important things she thought about.

She thought about Aang, how the boy was light on his feet, yet burdened by the weight of the world on his shoulders.

She thought about Katara, whose companionship was by this point irreplaceable, whose role was a mother and an elder sister all in one.

She thought about Sokka and the hilarity that was simply him, and about the rush of heat she felt on her cheeks when her thoughts lingered on him for too long.

She thought about many things, but those three will always bear the most emphasis and will continue to be so.

Her thoughts of them will deepen, questions will be asked and answered, as long as the night remains.

For now, however, she will try to find sleep and dream of a world she can't see.

But before that…

"HEY, TWINKLETOES!! I know you're still awake! Stop creepily watching Katara in her sleep and get some shuteye!!"

Ignoring the spluttering of a boy caught red-handed and the groggy groans of a girl who was disturbed from her sleep (Sokka could only be aroused from slumber with meat or some form of physical violence), Toph turned to her side and laid to rest with a smile.

* * *

AN: There will be a series of Toph centric musings updated randomly later on. I didn't want to finish all the ideas of the awesome character known as Toph in one simple drabble.


	3. Sokka, Protector

Sokka thinks of himself as the protector of the Gaang.

He is aware of the irony behind that thought.

The Gaang consists of the Avatar, the most powerful human bars none, a Master Waterbender who also possesses the skills of bloodbending as well as possibly several techniques in physical mutilation, and the Greatest Earthbender in the WORLD (she can bend metal, there's no arguing against that), and himself.

As such, he has personally seen them all in action, bending the elements to their whims, clashing with powers of titanic magnitudes.

He didn't need Toph to remind him he wasn't exactly the tank of the group.

The team dynamics is enough to instill an inferiority complex into just about anyone.

But it is also because he is so close to them, that he knows why he is needed.

Despite the fact that the three benders were strong and powerful, they were still children. He wasn't an adult either, but he was the oldest, and he felt responsible for all of them.

He still remembers the day his and Katara's mother died. He already felt horrible enough, the lurching feeling of dread that made him nauseous and wanted absolutely nothing but to die. The look on his little sister's face made it even more unbearable, something he didn't think possible.

He vowed to never allow that expression to appear on his sister ever again.

And that thought carried over to the additions of their group as well.

All of them had their weaknesses, even without their knowing. So as the oldest, he would compensate for them.

He would be Katara's shoulder to lean on, a vigilant hawk on the lookout for potential harm.

He would be Aang's confident and guide, because power is useless without direction.

He would be Toph's eyes and stable pillar when she couldn't see.

He will do whatever it takes to safeguard their future, whatever it may hold.

Because he is the glue that holds the group together, the Idea Guy. He would map out their paths when they are lost.

Because he is the protector.

* * *

AN: Just a Sokka centric drabble that I don't even care about. Once I get done with the others, I'll finally be able to write the stuff I want to.


	4. Zuko, Evil and Good

Zuko has, and forever will, tread upon the path between good and evil.

Like every other human being in the world, the two forces conflicted within him.

His balance of the two moral qualities had merely been much more unstable, and to add insult upon injury, he wasn't even aware of it.

Despite being born into and raised as royalty, he too, was like every other Fire Nation citizen. He was taught to have unquestioned loyalty and profound devotion toward the Fire Nation and its Lord.

Whatever benefited the Fire Nation is considered good, and whatever worked in opposition is evil, and the Fire Lord's words are doctrine.

Upon reflection, it was completely ridiculous, the state of mind in which he had set off to capture the Avatar to regain his honor to atone for his banishment.

He was willing to do anything to return to the Fire Nation and to his father's side, the only world he had ever known.

The concept of good and evil and the consequences of his intended actions didn't even register in his mind, he just wanted to go home, where things weren't controversial and conflicted with what he was raised to believe.

The encounter and subsequent conversation with Song had been a stinging slap to the face.

But it was those uncomfortable events that led to his development.

He saw the world firsthand, unclouded by the hostile and provincial view of the current Fire Nation zealots. He saw the suffering of innocent people that was caused by the war. He saw the rift between humans, who, under different circumstances, could have been friends.

He saw many things through his 'good' eye and the eye tarnished by fire.

And yet all those things would have gone clear over his head if it weren't for his uncle Iroh, a man he holds eternal gratitude towards.

Of course, it still took a return to the Fire Nation, his dream for over three years, for those experiences to finally clarify, for the good in him to finally shine.

But he knows that evil still dwells within him.

It is expected, he mused once. After all, he is the offspring of a power hungry megalomaniac and a caring, gentle soul, his innate morality was bound to be an average of the two extremes.

It was only fortune that the side of good outweighed the other, unlike his sister, whose evil reigned dominance within herself.

In that regard, his outer appearance was practically a symbolic reflection of his inner spirit.

He is divided, with his scar a physical manifestation of his taint by evil, and the rest represent the good he retained and developed.

But he knows the evil within him is necessary.

During his travels, he learned that the moralities labeled upon the various human actions are all subjective to perspective. An act someone considers good can be considered the opposite by another. He understood this because he was a prime example.

But he also understood that in the face of the world, the concept of good and evil was nonexistent.

To ensure the stability of the world, even an evil act such as murder can be permitted. As long as it is for the Greater Good, the end really justifies the means.

The actions of the countless past Avatars are a testament to this. They had done whatever it was necessary, even killing, to restore balance.

However, Aang, the current Avatar, refused to accept that reality, and had miraculously come up with an alternate solution, despite everyone's denial of any possibility but the death of the Fire Lord. Even he had been prepared to have his own father slain, going as far as to give his acceptance and permission.

He couldn't have been prouder of the young airbender. The boy was truly an altruistic and benevolent soul.

But it is dangerous for the Avatar to be such a kindred spirit.

The world may yet face unknown crisis in the future, when the absolutely only solution could be unseemly, actions that the Avatar may be unwilling to take, simply because the act could be considered evil.

If it came to that, he will take up the gauntlet.

For he is forever cursed to be on the crossroads of good, evil, and destiny.

If his father was willing to do anything for personal glory and the Fire Nation, then he is willing to perform any unsightly act for his friends and the Greater Good.

He will do so with the evil within him.

Zuko will do so, because he knows his place.

It is right between Aang and Ozai.

* * *

AN: I completely stole that last line from Pirates of the Caribbean. Smite me, readers. I think I did an okay job with this one, considering how complex Zuko's character is. Like with Toph, I want to do more Zuko centric stuff, with this one being the first. Anyways, if no one has realized yet, I'm trying to do a piece for each member of the Gaang and Zuko before I finally start submitting oneshots that have dialogue in it, something I'm itching to do. Just Katara and Aang left. I really hope I get it done in the next couple of days, because if I drag it out, others might submit fanfics that follow the same ideas I'm having, then I can't submit mine because I'll feel like I'm plagiarizing.

I usually don't do this, but…

Review Responses:

Hermione Solo: What makes you think I don't like Sokka? He's awesome, like me, and lemonade. I meant that I didn't care for the character analyzing bit of the story, because Sokka is much more interesting with dialogue, which I'm going to do once I get done with Katara and Aang's pieces.

nutshak: Thanks for your support! I'm glad you like my stories! Makes a person feel special! But don't feel obligated to review every chapter or something in fear of me not writing. I'd keep on updating even if nobody ever reviewed, just cuz' I'd never forgive myself if I don't let all these ideas in my head be manifested.


	5. Katara, Resemblance

Katara is her mother's daughter.

Hakoda, Sokka, Kanna, and countless members of the tribe had always commented on how similar she was in appearance to her mother, Kya, at the same age.

It was always about how she had her mother's eyes, her mother's hair, the same sweet smile, the same this and the same that to the point where the items on the list combined into the _same person_.

The similarity she shared with her mother would only become increasing apparent as time goes by.

Even now, as she gazes at her reflection in the mirror or in the water, the image of the person staring back would continuously match the woman in her memory.

Katara adored her mother, however, so those comments were nothing but compliments to her ears as a child.

But then the cruelty of War and a man who was infected by the evil that was war's venom killed her mother, and so the woman that was her sun became a bolt of passing light and someone who existed only in the memory of those who remember her.

And she cries at the injustice of when thinking of her mother would bring pain.

Because then when people said they saw Kya in her, her heart ached.

Subsequent events wouldn't spare her, however, and she was further thrust into a role that was yet too early for her to assume.

After the tribesmen left for the Earth Kingdom to fight in the war, leaving Katara and her brother behind with the women and children, she resigned herself to domestic household duties, putting the development of her waterbending skills and her destiny on hold.

The distance between Katara and Kya shortened even more.

Even Sokka had admitted that when he tried to recall their mother in his mind, her face would be the one he sees.

She was frequently characterized as a loving, kind, mature, smart, motherly, and all around caring person.

She wondered how much it was her mother instead of herself.

Time had, in a strange way, stopped for her back then. She grew and gotten older, but the world was the same as it was in years past and she just didn't _change_.

Then she and Sokka released Aang, the Avatar, from his icy entrapment and the Gears of History embarked once more, as did her world.

The hope left by her mother was rekindled within her with the appearance of the boy who was lost for a century, and she didn't hesitate to follow him.

And in the wake of her decision, she realized she was adding new faces in her world, people who have never seen her mother, and so would never comment on a resemblance that they couldn't see.

For some inexplicable reason, she couldn't help but feel forlorn.

She didn't understand why she felt the way she did.

She was pained to be reminded of her mother, but when the time came for her to be far away and nowhere near the phantom of her old world, sadness, however briefly, seeped through her heart.

Then they went to the Southern Air Temple and saw the remains of Aang's old world and he raged out of control and unleashed the massive power within him.

She had calmed him by relaying her feelings of her mother's death and promised a bond of family to him.

And she had understood.

Though Aang lives with the wisdom of Monk Gyatso and the customs of his people, he is still Aang. Though he has been countless others in lives past and will continue to be so, he is different from them in this life, and no destiny will change that.

She is the same. She shares many traits as her mother, but she is Katara.

She is passionate, stubborn, somewhat easily tempered, unintentionally chaotic, slightly overbearing, and optimistic. And she is _also_ a loving, kind, mature, smart, motherly, and all around caring person (and _also _bossy, nagging, self-righteous, a peert' poo'er, and sometimes lil' bitchy, as a drunken brother and an equally inebriated earthbending midget had once disclosed to her).

No child is ever a clone of his or her parents.

They can resemble them, sometimes eerily so, but they are still different.

She carries what she loves of her mother, as well as her father, and it has become part of her soul.

And she relished and lived those qualities, risking her life to protect her family, old and new but one in the same, just as her mother did for her.

After Zuko had helped her receive closure by confronting the man who murdered her mother, she had smiled for the first time when her mother's face passed through her heart.

Because there was no reason to be sad, for she is blessed.

Zuko had told her that she was fortunate to have the luxury of resembling either of her parents without remorse, and she couldn't agree more.

The best of her mother lives on through her, just as the best of her own soul will be passed down to her children.

It is the way humans remind themselves of why they love and live.

So she smirks when her brother would moan and groan in pain due to a hangover and mumble a 'thanks, mom' when she cooks him a breakfast he can swallow without regurgitation, and welcomes the day when her father would see her on the happiest day of her life and tell her she is as beautiful as her mother.

She is alive and strong, and she understands.

She is her mother's daughter.

* * *

AN: I have conflicted feelings about this one, maybe I should've…. ah, well. One down, Aang to go. Heheh, get it? I was trying to—ugh, forget it.


	6. Aang, Life

Aang is almost always seen enjoying life: soaring through the sky on his glider at daunting altitudes and at exhilarating speeds; goofing off with his various friends and family; visiting (or revisiting) exotic places and familiar faces; riding the Elephant Koi (again), and then going as far as trying to hitch a ride on the Unagi itself; watching every sunrise and sunset, if circumstances allow; eating the spiciest foods and the more peculiar fruits that could be found (he was eventually pressured by Sokka enough to try cactus juice, with messy results that would be a story for another time); smiling and laughing……

Most people would just attribute his behavior as his natural, characteristic childish qualities or perhaps some form of Air Nomads' way of life.

They weren't wrong, but their deductions were lacking.

It is true that Aang is simply living life the way he wants, but he is also making an effort to make every moment count, to create snapshots of the beautiful world and his precious people and engrave them into his very spirit.

He does this because he realized that time and youth are indeed the most fleeting luxury humans have.

He had, in the blink of an eye, lost a hundred years to the torrents of history, leaving him nothing but the empty temples of his people and the loving memories of them that he holds dear in his heart, and a different world that replaced the one he remembered.

Then he was forcibly thrust into the war that expanded due to his absence, simply because he was the Avatar and had fought and bled and struggled to survive.

Throughout the whole experience, he had truly sensed the sacredness of life, and understood that the teachings of the monks were not just idle words and worn philosophy.

He felt blessed by the spirits to be alive, whether it was happily, sadly, or painfully, for merely being able to feel those emotions was a gift in itself.

It is for that same reason that he is so averse to killing, because that meant taking away the chance for that life to breathe, to feel, to realize the preciousness of the blessing it was given, and he couldn't bring himself to rob anyone of that.

He lives life the way does for another reason as well: the end of life. Because he does not have an end.

He is the Avatar, and thus, when his life as Aang ends, he will be reborn as someone else.

Someone with a different face, a different name, a different _life_…

He still doesn't understand exactly in what manner of spirit or memory would he continue to exist, only that he would.

And the memories and experiences he makes in his life will forever be his, with the freedom to impart upon future Avatars if he so chooses.

But even though he will continue to exist, he was like everyone else, having only one chance to savor the life of the person that was Avatar Aang's.

So he continues to jump, laugh, joke, dance, fly, talk, prank, cry, taste, hear, love, feel…

Living and enjoying life, knowing that it won't last…

…and smiles blissfully.

* * *

AN: Done! I actually like Aang's piece. Tell me if you like it too! Expect the next oneshot up some time tomorrow!


	7. Gaang, Hullabaloo

Sokka's muscles were straining agonizingly as he willed himself to push harder. The skin on his forehead creased as his eyebrows furrowed and sweat trickled down his cheek.

"C'mon, Snoozles! I can barely feel anything! You getting tired already!?"

His breath came out in a hiss.

"Push harder, Sokka! You can do it!!" Aang encouraged excitedly beside him.

Sokka groaned as he felt a spasm. "Gah! Shut up, Aang! You're not helping!"

"Don't you talk to Aang like that!" Katara scolded fiercely, her hands on her hips.

His concentration wavered, Sokka gritted his teeth. "W-would you two—ack—go away already!?"

"Please, as if I'd miss this _special_ moment."

The Water Tribe warrior decided to ignore the distracting duo and refocused at the task of just _pushing_… a bit more—just a little more…

Ivory green eyes narrowed, her lips twitched slightly whenever he squeezed her hand tighter, took a breath, and—Sokka's hand slammed onto the hard-as-hell boulder with a resounding **WHAM**! Followed immediately by simultaneous cheers from Aang and Katara.

Sokka's eyes were wide with unpleasant astonishment and he cursed involuntarily, because—_dammit_—he couldn't believe he just lost to a thirteen-year-old blind girl.

"Woohoo! Go, Toph!"

_Aang, you lil' snakeweasel…_

Katara popped up next to him with a smirk. "So, what did you say about men being stronger than women?"

"Th-there's gotta be some sort of mistake!" Sokka protested desperately, unaware of the stiffness of his bruised hand, "There's no way—I couldn't—it isn't—"

Toph folded her arms across her chest smugly. "Face it. We arm wrestled. And. I. Kicked. Your. Butt."

Sokka sagged with defeat, wincing slightly when his hand hit his knee.

Great, on top of being beaten, he most likely had fractured bones.

"Alright, time to own up, Sokka."

His head snapped back up. "Oh, c'mon! Aren't I humiliated enough!?"

Katara grinned maliciously and pointed to his twitching hand. "I'm not healing that until you say it."

Sokka gaped at his sister's profound betrayal and looked imploringly to the Avatar, but the boy just nodded at him giddily, no intention to help whatsoever.

"Arrgh! Fine!" he conceited, and took a steadying breath before shouting, "I'M A PRETTY LITTLE GIRL!"

"Aaaaaannd……?" Katara drawled, barely reigning in the urge to laugh.

"AND I LIKE THE COLOR PINK AND DREAMY MAN-BABES!!" he finished with an angry snort, and glared at his three friends who were giggling hysterically.

"Alright, alright," Katara started once they managed to settle down, "let me get my waterskin and I'll fix you up. Then we can go into town and get some lunch, which is also on you, Sokka."

Sokka gave a noncommittal mutter as Aang grabbed Katara's hand—she yelped slightly in surprise—and dragged her off into the woods, saying something about Appa.

He stood up from the earthbended stools and Toph followed suit.

He didn't look at her, out of embarrassment, but couldn't help notice—peripherally—that the girl was staring at him.

"What? You want to rub it in some more?" he asked derisively, obviously in a sour mood.

Toph didn't reply immediately, and turned her head away slightly after a few seconds. "Um," she muttered, a slight blush hidden beneath her bangs, "if it's any consolation, I don't really think you're a little girl."

Sokka gave her a _duh_ look, but immediately remembered the girl's condition. "Uh, thanks, I guess."

The earthbender gave him a toothy grin—oddly enough, making him feel better about the whole thing—and punched him _lightly_ on the arm.

"Let's get going, Snoozles. I'll let you buy me some jerky."

At the mention of meat, Sokka's eyes lit up and he grinned cheekily. "All right. But don't expect me to hold your hand through the market, again. Mine's a little tender right now."

He chuckled at the girl's very visible blush and angry spluttering of protests and spouting of reasons as they walked toward the campsite.


	8. Aang and Katara, Hair

It has been over two years since Sozin's Comet had disappeared into the far beyond, and restoration of the war-torn countries were well on progress. Everyone had assumed their respective roles in the new world and went their separate ways. They all kept in contact with other, of course, but it just wasn't the same without actually seeing each other. So they would find time in their busy lives to reunite and catch up with one another. And naturally, they had chosen Iroh's teashop.

Aang, now fifteen years of age, rubbed his chin thoughtfully.

Katara, donning her Earth Kingdom attire, admired the peaceful and tranquil setting and sipping her jasmine tea contentedly.

"Hey, Katara?"

"Hmmm?" Katara answered, "What is it, Aang?"

Aang looked up at the pretty waterbender, still rubbing his chin deliberately. "What would you think if I…grew out my facial hair?"

Katara blinked, and cocked her head to side, interested at the Avatar's question. "Facial hair? What brought this on?"

"Well," he began, "it's just that both Sokka and Zuko have a goatee going on now…"

Katara's lips turned upward, catching onto the boy's train of thought. "Yeah, Sokka's starting to look a lot like dad." She sipped her tea. "So? You want to grow a beard?"

Aang blushed. "Well, not exactly, I mean, maybe. I don't know," he admitted as he scratched the back of his head, "but don't you think Sokka and Zuko look a lot cooler than before? They look so grown up now."

"They technically are grownups now. I guess the hair comes along with the transition. But not everybody can pull it off like they do, they both have pretty masculine jaw lines."

Aang was silent for several seconds, still slowly rubbing his chin. Then, his eyes met hers again. "Say, Katara? Do you think I would look cool if I……" he trailed off.

Katara's eye twinkled with mirth. "Nope."

Aang visibly deflated. "Aw, how come?"

Katara took another sip of her tea, hiding her grin. "Your face is too pretty and delicate to grow a beard. It'd make you look weird."

"I'm not a girl, Katara," Aang whined with a pout, "Hmph. I'm not some fragile flower. I could be just as manly as Zuko and Sokka."

He took the cup before him, about to take a sip, but ended up staring at it intently. His eyes widened.

"Monkeycruds! I'm a spirit-damned teacup!"

Katara giggled and placed her cup down on the table. "Don't say that, Aang. It doesn't matter if you can't look rugged and manly. I like you just the way you are."

"Aww, now you're just making fun of me," Aang cried.

Still giggling, Katara scooted her chair next to Aang, who was pouting childishly and refused to look at her.

Smirking coyly, Katara traced his chin softly with her fingers, getting his immediate attention. "Personally, I'm not a big fan of beards. I prefer smooth skin to hairy ones…"

"Yeah?" Aang muttered, eyes staring intently into hers, "why's that…?"

Eyes taking on a dreamy look, Katara leaned in with the same smirk in place. "Because then when I do this…" She placed a quick kiss on the side of his jaw. "…and this…" She kissed his chin. "…and this…" She moved closer to his lower lip. "…and _this_…" She kissed and suckled on his lower lip, feeling heat radiate from his skin and a shiver pass through her own.

She pulled away, her blue eyes shining, enjoying the way Aang was staring at her so intently. "…it's just so much more……_pleasurable_…"

That seemed to have been the clincher for Aang, as he suddenly darted forward, grabbed Katara by the shoulders, and captured her lips with his, to which the girl happily moaned into, her hands cupping his face and the back of his head.

_Ha. Who needs hair or a beard anyways?_

* * *

AN: School's about to start, so life is going to get busy. But I'll update when I can. As always, leave a review if you want. Criticisms are always appreciated.


	9. Sokka and Suki, Inability

AN: Slight warning. Ahead is angst. Something I don't like doing, but couldn't resist. Also, I don't think the characters have such a problem with their relationship, but I thought it would be interesting if they did.

-

Sokka likes kissing Suki during the day.

He loves capturing her lips with his, to kiss her with unfettered passion until both of them moan and groan despite themselves.

He likes the way she would suckle on his bottom lip as she weaves her fingers through his hair.

And he especially enjoys handling her during these moments of passion, his hands roaming over the female warrior's firm, heated body.

He likes mingling with Suki in all these sorts of unchaste activities, during the time when the sun hovers above the sky in all its radiant glory.

Because he can't do those things with her when the sun recedes below the horizon.

The reason is simple and obvious: the moon that hangs austerely in the twilight of the night.

He cannot bring himself to kiss the woman he loves in the presence of the spirit of the woman he loves.

Even if they are indoors, the sky entirely obscured by a simple roof, he could only give chaste pecks on the cheeks or forehead.

Because he felt that if he were to kiss the Kyoshi warrior as he did during the day, it was as though he was betraying the first woman he gave his heart to.

The notion was entirely outrageous, Sokka often screamed in his head.

If Yue were to appear, she would most likely scold him for being so ridiculous and tell him to move on.

He did move on, he loves Suki. But he also loves Yue.

So the Water Tribe warrior waits until the moon is away to show Suki how much she means to him, that his feelings for her nothing short of love, a love that exists at all times, but a love he can fully demonstrate only during the day.

And during the night, he would watch the moon, and sometimes think about the last kiss he shared with the woman that became it.

But then one night Suki joined him in sky-gazing, her eyes shining with love and looked so spirit-damned beautiful under the moonlight that he suddenly felt sick to his core.

He wanted to say something, to apologize, to reassure her, but he could only stare unabashedly with that sick feeling churning in his stomach.

She had merely smiled, and gingerly rested her head on his shoulder, accepting the truth that though he loves her, his heart would never be entirely hers.

And as Sokka, with the woman he loves resting on his shoulder, looked up into the night sky to see the woman he still loves, he was suddenly uncertain which love of his he was betraying more.


	10. Katara and Zuko, Pat

AN: Warning. Crack ahoy! But hopefully still funny. This might be the last one I do for awhile, because I don't think people like reading stuff like this much, and so I'm considering doing a bigger project with actual plot. I already have an idea, but to write the whole thing out seems daunting. Hmm. I'll post the prologue for it some time this weekend and see if it's worth pursuing.Until then.

-

The door swung open with a **BAM**!

Upon hearing the loud clamor of an intrusion to his room, Zuko's fight or flight instincts kicked into high gear and he fiercely turned to—

"What the hell did you do!?" Katara demanded angrily, eyes tinted with mild bloodlust.

—flee across the room and shielded his face with both hands. "Whatever it is, I'm innocent!! Please don't hit my face!!"

Katara snarled. "I just saw Aang! He was so freaked out! He was scared and confused, and was mumbling something about 'bad touch'! Just what happened during your firebending lesson!?"

Zuko lowered his hands slightly, but still maintained his stance in case he needed to get the hell away. "N-nothing happened! We covered the basics today, and he performed excellently! I c-congratulated him, and he just sort of ran off! That's all, I swear!"

Katara's eyes narrowed. "That can't be all there is to it. What did you mean by 'congratulated him'?"

"W-well," Zuko breathed, "just the usual gesture of commendation between men, you know, a pat on the derriere and—"

"WHAT!?" Katara bellowed, now surprised but somehow even more angry, "Y-you s-spanked him!?"

Zuko looked horrified upon Katara's words. "N-NO!! I didn't…spank him! I just gave him a little pat, well, actually two pats, like how you're supposed to do it when someone did a good job—"

Katara gaped disbelievingly. "Why in the name of Yue did you think swatting another guy's rear is considered appropriate!?"

"Wh-what do you mean? That's how male peers congratulate each other, r-right? I mean, that was how all the soldiers on the ship I commanded went about it."

"Are you crazy!?" Katara screeched, "Men don't go around doing…_that_ to each other. It's not normal, I mean, it's not exactly—"

Zuko looked thoughtful. "Hrm. Now that you mention it, Uncle Iroh always told me not join in on all the 'rowdy fun'. But he said it was because I was royalty and shouldn't be seen congratulating or being congratulated in such a 'down-to-earth' fashion."

Katara merely continued to glare at him, her fists clenched tightly at her side.

Zuko looked distinctively nervous. "L-look, I didn't know you weren't supposed to do that! I-I just wanted to show my sincerity to the Avat—I mean, Aang, so I—I'm sorry—"

"Sorry!? You think you can fix things with just a simple apology!? I can't believe—you insensitive, moronic—ugly jerk, jerk, jerk—"

Zuko began to look offended at Katara's constant barrage of angry insults and belittlements. "Okay, I get it! It was inappropriate and I promise I won't do it ever, ever again! Still, it was just a simple mistake and I don't see why you're so mad about—"

"BECAUSE IT WAS FOR ME TO DO!!"

Zuko's jaw dropped.

Katara's eyes widened upon her own words.

They stared at each other in silence.

In an instant, Katara's anger dissipated to be replaced by a fierce blush. She uttered—futilely—some words of excuse that came out in an incomprehensible jumble of noises, gave up, and quickly dashed out of the room.

Zuko continued to stare at the open door for many seconds. Then he started laughing.

Sokka, who saw Katara rush by him wordlessly and with an incredibly red face, went into Zuko's room just in case his sister really decided to murder the Fire Nation prince, to find said firebender cackling hysterically with glee.

The Water Tribe warrior managed to make out the words 'I'm alive', 'I finally got her', and something about 'beautiful blackmail'.

He merely shook his head in pity and left.

Aang (who eventually recovered from the incident through meditation and opening some chakra points) and Sokka were rather confused (Toph had smirked knowingly and cackled at Katara the whole time) as Katara had been very nice to Zuko over the next few days.


	11. Zuko, Deny

Zuko shaves every morning.

It's unrealistic to think he can do it all the time, but every _chance_ he gets—

It's not a usual daily routine for the men in society. And people _know_ exactly _why why _he does it.

—for it's unpleasant enough to be sitting in the throne that once belonged to _that_ _that_ man and reign over a nation with the unsettling feeling that somehow—_ridiculous and impossible but just had to be_—he was watching his progress with eyes glowing with dark mirth and _laughing laughing_ at his _sad sad_ attempts and—

He would shave meticulously with the upmost concentration until he was _clean clean_.

He only managed to get better at it after Ozai _died died_ in his cell—not too soon _way way_ too late—and he swore could sometimes _hear hear_ him cackle but it was always just an open window and the wind.

—was _old enough_—every time he gazed into the mirror he would see half of his father staring straight back—_frowning frowning_—and he knows it won't change because that was his _life_.

He had perfected the task to the point that Aang would sometimes joke that his face was shiner than his head and he would _chuckle_—eyes crinkled—

Sometimes he would let Mai do it for him, knowing she was also appalled at the image of _him he_ lying next to her even though she was fully aware they were not the _same different_.

So Zuko shaves in the morning and people know why he does.

What they don't understand is why not singe it—burn it all away—so that the accursed image could never come about.

They never asked, though, so he never answered them.

But he answers the question every time he shaves—cleanses—himself.

He wants the _possibility_ of becoming him and he will—always—deny it—stray from it completely—with a blade trimming against his skin.

And take the path that leads to _Zuko_.

_Why burn the bridge that reminds you where it leads and you're the only one who would ever cross it but you never will?_


	12. Sokka, Not Forgotten

AN: I was kind of bored, and wanted to practice my old writing style. The result is this. I've been sampling different writing styles lately, and I've sort of forgotten which style is my own. I guess this can also be seen as a reminder. Anyways, I've got a couple of M-rated romance/humor (nothing explicit, er, maybe) oneshots planned. If you're intrigued, then type: _Smextacular_ in your review. If not, then tell me to go to heck.

-

Above is an inverted river that stretches far into the horizon, filled with irregularly oval, white ships streaming towards the vantage point of the land. Below is a rocky terrain with thousands of stone pillars, some scorched, some reduced to rubble, paving a valley where the battle between the Avatar and the Phoenix King had taken place.

Sokka, still limping with a broken leg due to his part in the final battle, slowly makes his way in the middle of the high and low towards the edge of the cliff, supported by a crutch on one side and Suki on the other.

At sunset-shadow's length away, they stop.

Suki touches his shoulder, and he gives a faint, assuring smile to her concerned eyes.

She nods and steps away, one hand shielding her hair from the howling winds and the other gripping her flowing Earth Nation robe.

Sokka gives her a cheeky grin and restarts his trek to the end.

He reaches the summit in a matter of minutes, grunting slightly from the inconvenient exertions.

He hops a couple of times closer to the edge……reaches out……and gently touches the gravestone.

"Hey………" His lips stretch into a smile that is both bitter and sweet. "I'm sorry I couldn't visit sooner. Turns out, taking care of post-war shenanigans is a lot more work than the crazy adrenaline-pumping actions involved in ending the war itself. We had to rally the survivors and the injured, imprison the jerks and the evil jerks, then came the coronation……well, you get the idea. There's still so much work to do. The reconstruction of the nations and the ties between us is gonna be one fluffing heck of a job, and the janitorial workload will be a nightmare for eons to come."

He exhales skywards. "But, by the spirits, was all of that effort………... worth it." His gaze falls back down to the stone marking. "You should've seen everyone's faces. The pure, unimaginable joy………knowing that all the bloodshed, all the screams, the hurting, the pains, the _deaths_……have finally reached an end. Maybe not _the_ end, but at least one that is brighter and louder than any flame could ever hope to ignite. And believe you me, we intend to prolong this _end _for as long as the universe allows. You know what? Forget the universe! We're gonna keep this peace like…like it's the last pound of jerky in the entire meat-eating world!!"

Smile excitedly wide from the proclamation, Sokka slumps to the ground, arms and crutch keeping his upper body upright.

He smirks at the world, then blinks. "Oh! I almost forgot!" He pulls out a scroll from within his robes and unrolls it to showcase to the silent audience. "Tada!! I drew a painting of everyone! The critics were harsh, but I think I did a pretty good job, if I do say so myself! They just can't appreciate artistic brilliance when they see it. But you do………you always do."

He exhales softly with soft, downcast eyes. "None of this would have been possible without you. If it weren't for you…we probably would've been dead long ago……a-and I'm really g-grateful as well as s-sorry for all the sa-sacrifices you made for u-us."

He turns away and roughly brushes away the moisture in his eyes. "I-I'm not crying! Just…got sensitive eyes is all."

Done rubbing way the evidence, he looks above to the parade of the heavens.

Ten seconds pass……

"It's a beautiful day………I want to say: '_wish you're here to enjoy it_', but you are here, aren't you?" He pats his chest. "Right here. Always and forever."

He looks over his shoulder, to Suki, back, and smiles.

With a little struggling, he climbs back on his feet. "Heh…I think I've fulfilled the sap quota for the day."

He places the scroll, weighted with metal rolls and thus unmoved by the strong winds, before the stone monument.

He smiles gently. "I have to go now……but don't worry. I'll come back……I'll come back."

With one final glance, Sokka begins making his way back down.

Suki reaches him halfway and hugs him, to which he returns.

Together, they both enter Future's stream.

The view zooms in on the gravestone.

This is its epitaph:

-_**Boomerang**_-

Longtime Companion

Faithful Projectile

Forever Friend

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"_(sniff) (sniff) I jus' miss em' so muuuuuuuch!"_

"_There, there. We'll make you a new one."_

"_B-bu' I dun' wantz a nu' onnnnnne (sniff)."_

"_We won't be replacing it. We'll get you something new, something different. It'll be called a, ummm, I know! It'll be called a Frisbee! What do you say?"_

"_(sniff )(sniff) ………………dat' soundz cool………"_


	13. Zuko, Toph, and Sokka, Annoyance

There were many things that irritated Zuko. Overcrowded cafeterias, megalomaniacal sisters, self-righteous omnipresent _female _authority figures, wobbly stools, fruit baskets, _fangirls_. The list goes on into several volumes.

But the one thing that irks him to no end is his roommate Sokka, and his _not_-girlfriend, Toph Bei Fong.

"Hey! That was the last piece of beef jerky! _My_ last piece of beef jerky!"

"Yeah!? Well, the needs of my gastrointestinal organs beg to differ!"

_STOMP! STOMP! STOMP! STOMP!_

"Get back here, ya alien dirt midget!"

"Who you callin' a midget, jackrabbit brains!?"

Zuko sighed and pulled a chair out of the way as the two knuckleheads stampeded across the room, fighting viciously over a piece of sun-dried meat.

Most who have witnessed such a violent display of squabbling were concerned. Some were justifiably amused. Zuko was just annoyed.

The dark-haired young man picked up the daily newspaper just as Sokka managed to pin the smaller girl down on the couch and entered a struggle for the prize in her hand.

He unfolded the newspaper, and his attention was immediately drawn to a particular title: _Scientists Predict When World Will End_.

He lowered the paper just in time to see Toph pull her head back.

"HEAD BUTT GALORE!!"

"OW!! MY GALLBLADDER!!"

He began reading the article earnestly.

Mai walked into the apartment with her spare key as Zuko was diligently trying to discover the exact date of doomsday (salvation).

"Hey, Zuko. Did you—" the young woman paused due to the outrageously inconspicuous act of human violence displayed before her.

"Are they going to be okay?" she asked, unable to restrain the sliver of concern that slipped into her voice.

"They'll be fine," Zuko grunted, disgruntled that the apocalypse wasn't arriving soon enough, "just don't get close. It might be contagious."

* * *

The magnitude of annoyance only managed to increase tenfold when they weren't arguing or fighting, for when they joined forces, others are usually the targets for ridicule at their expense.

"Dammit!" Zuko swore, "Toph! How many times do I have to tell you to wipe your feet before you come in!?"

The vile criminal and her apparent accomplice were both sitting on the couch, their legs lifted to their chest, and chuckling like the demonic troublemakers they were.

"There's dirt everywhere!! And who's going to end up cleaning it up!? ME!! You two really need to—what the hell is so funny!?"

Sokka smirked through his chuckles. "What's wrong, Zuko? Can't you—_heheh_—read?"

Toph cackled into her knees.

Zuko glared at his roommate. "What are you—" He stopped as he then noticed that the mud and dirt paths were actually deliberately made as they formed words. "I AM NOT GAY!!"

The two on the couch laughed hysterically.

Zuko glowered at them, seemingly ready to breathe fire.

"HAHAHAHahaha—c'mon, Zuko!! It's just a—hahaha—just a joke, man! Lighten up!"

"Heheheheheh! Yeah! Don't be such a sourpuss, Mister Hotbuns!"

Zuko's face managed to get even redder with the combination of anger and embarrassment at the memory of how he achieved the nickname in the first place.

Sokka rolled to his side, holding his abdomen, laughing until tears came out.

Having had enough, Zuko threw his backpack at his roommate, who just blocked it with his foot, and stormed into his room, slamming the door purposefully.

_"Hahahahaha—woo! Th-that was awesome…! Hehehe……"_

_"Heheheheh……haaaa…! It sure was…"_

_"Hey, um, do you really think Zuko has a—you know…"_

_"Why, are you jealous, Sokka?"_

_"N-no! I was j-just curious…"_

_"Don't worry. I think your ass is way hotter than Zuko's."_

_"Oh, th-thanks—Hey! Stop doing that!!"_

Zuko groaned miserably into his pillow.

* * *

The group project had required more work than he anticipated, and thus Zuko found himself entering the apartment late into the night.

After turning on the lights, he was greeted to the sight of his roommate and his not-girlfriend sprawled on the couch together. The girl was practically in the young man's lap and he in turn had his hand resting on her back, under her shirt. And to make matters weirder (to those unfamiliar with the two), they both had vanilla frosting smudges and cake crumbs smeared randomly over their faces and clothes.

Using his accumulated experiences in dealings with the two, Zuko deduced that they must have gotten drunk at a bar, may or may not have gotten kicked out, miraculously made it back to his and Sokka's apartment, began arguing in their drunken stupor, decided to blame everything on the innocent cake stored in the fridge, began administrating punishment by smashing the cake, remembered halfway that they loved cake, started to eat the cake instead, fought over the last piece of said cake, ended up on the couch, and then both passed out due to fatigue and alcoholic effects.

Zuko heaved a heavy, exasperated sigh, for this was the most annoying part about the two.

Despite both of them vehemently denying any romantic entanglements and the current indecent, crude manner they unintentionally presented themselves in, they looked good together.

Carefully, Zuko covered them with a spare blanket.

* * *

When Sokka woke up in the morning, it is to the smell of Zuko cooking eggs. He began to move, but then remembered that he had a bundle of vanilla-smelling girl snuggled against him, and paused to decide how to maneuver without waking her up.

Apparently there wasn't need for worry as Toph was already awake, as he saw she grin at him with her ivory-white eyes and a spot of frosting on her nose.

Before he could stop himself—he kissed her nose, tasting the delicious frosting and what he decided was the aroma of her skin.

Her eyes widened in surprise, and Sokka suddenly felt like he needed to explain himself.

"Ah—um—sorry, th-there was some frosting…o-on your nose."

She blushed, looking impossibly adorable.

He wanted to tease her, but couldn't as she leaned toward him and pressed her lips to his.

She quickly pulled back, but to him, it felt as if time had stopped due to being crippled by a steamroller.

Toph's blush intensified. "Sorry! B-but there was some, um, f-frosting, um…"

He grinned. "On my lips?"

In an act of uncharacteristic shyness, the girl ducked her head.

His grin widened. "Well, I have to say it was a most enjoyable method of cleansing. Thanks."

She raised her head back up with the same blush, but slowly, the look of uncertainty was replaced with a gorgeous smile and he couldn't help but feel dazed and drunk as he basked in the afterglow of that smile.

Then Zuko popped his head in from the kitchen. "Gawd," he exclaimed smugly, "I know you two are totally in love and everything, but seriously: _Get a room_."

Sokka was about to protest when the girl in his arms answered for him.

"Mind your own business." Toph told the imposer off, and pressed a soft kiss against Sokka's lips once more before nestling her head in his shoulders.

Sokka smiled euphorically.

Zuko frowned, discontent at being unable to bring a rise out of the annoying couple even given the perfect opportunity and rushed back into kitchen as the eggs were beginning to burn.

* * *

AN: Just a little something I hope brightens your day. Feel free to tell me what you think, thanks!


	14. Aang and Katara, Pickup Lines

"Hey, Katara, are you sure you're not a firebender?"

"Of course not. Why?"

"(wide grin) Cuz baby you are hot!"

* * *

"Aang, did you just airbend?"

"Um, I don't think I did. What made you think so?"

"(smirks) Because you just took my breath away."

* * *

"Help! Katara! I think something is wrong with my eyes!"

"A-are you okay!? What's wrong with your eyes!?"

"(remove hands from eyes and suavely grins) I just can't take them off you."

(smack)

* * *

"OH, OH, AANG! AAAANG!!"

"(rush over) Katara!? Wh-what's wrong?"

"(coy smile) Oh, nothing. Just practicing."

(immense blush)

* * *

"Do you have a map, Katara?"

"Why do you need one?"

"(holds hand) Because I keep getting lost in your eyes."

* * *

"Hello, good sir. I seem to be lost. Would you be so kind as to provide assistance?"

"Huh? What are you—"

"Oh, I see. (traces arrow on head) Just follow the arrows. Most _excellent_ directions. (glomp)"

* * *

"If I had a rose for every time I thought of you, I'd be walking through a garden forever."

"(touches nose) Hmm…"

* * *

"Why, Aang! (points at nether region) Did you just bloodbend? Or are you just happy to see me? (grins)"

"Guuhh……"

* * *

"Hey, Kataaaaara. I've got a present for you. In my pants."

(tackleglomp)

* * *

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"Hey, Sokka?"

"Yeah, Toph?"

"Why isn't Aang wearing any pants?"


	15. The Fire Lord and the Avatar, Alternate

The war was over.

The Phoenix King had fallen before he could reach his throne of tyrannical madness and the fleet of warships that were his feathers crashed to the lands they were to burn.

The war……was over.

_Avatar _Aang, now dressed in the complete, formal attire of his people, smiled softly as he mulled that thought over in his meditation.

He basked in the gentle rays of sunlight that shined through the opening in the chamber and breathed in the delightful fragrance of summer.

Outside, instead of a horde of soldiers shouting and fighting, is a bustling crowd cheering and rejoicing, of friends and family and survivors who were ready to see to a new era void of hurt and tyranny, and to welcome the sight of the key players at ending the bloody tale of a hundred years, to see the Avatar and witness the crowning of the new Fire Lord.

_Footsteps…_

As if on cue, the soon-to-be Fire Lord traversed the silent corridor and arrived at the Avatar's side.

Slowly, Aang emerged from his meditation, his grey eyes accentuated by the bright sunlight.

Their eyes met.

A silence that was not quite comfortable yet not exactly awkward ensued.

Aang prepared himself to speak, but the person before him beat him to it.

"I can't believe it's almost been an entire year since the world was still in chaos. And now…"

"It's over," Aang finished with a smile they both shared briefly.

"Aang, I…I want to apologize—"

"There's no need for that. You did what you felt you had to."

"I know, but still……we should have been there for you. _I_ should have been there for you."

The Avatar shook his head conciliatorily. "What's past is past. Everything worked out, didn't it? The war is over."

"The war…is over…"

The infectious smiles once again spread across both their faces.

"Feels great to say that, huh?"

A breathy chuckle. "Yes…it does…," then solemnly once more: "That's not the only thing I want to apologize for."

Aang's eyes widened visibly and shifted to the limestone ground apprehensively.

"Aang, I-I'm—"

"You don't have to—"

"_No_! I have to, Aang! I'm sorry!"

They tension was released and it sparked everywhere between them as they gazed at each other.

"I'm _sorry_. I'm sorry I couldn't be there for you, and I'm sorry for how I treated you. You deserve so much better, oh, you didn't deserve—"

"It's all right," Aang comforted, having stopped what was rapidly becoming an emotional apology and admission with a swift movement and a loving hug, "We're friends. That's the most important thing to me, and that's something that's never going to change."

"Aang_…_"

They snuggled into the embrace, savoring the warmth and the scent of each other's breaths, content. But then…

"_Aang……_"

The Avatar blinked from the foreign, husky quality behind the sound of his name, and before he could react, soon found his inquiry to be muffled by a pair of lips.

His eyes were wide with shock, but soon he relented to the incredible feeling and his eyes became dreamy as he tilted his head for their lips to entangle much more closely, kissing much much deeper…

Then Zuko came barging in, dressed in the same drabs when he fought Azula, wielding twin scimitars.

"Katara! I challenge you to an Agni Ka_aaAAAAAAAAAA!?_"

A split second later, Sokka came bolting from behind. "Zuko, you psychotic dingbat! Don't go running around with—What the fluffing heck!?"

The couple separated from their kiss so quickly that there was actually a small 'pop'.

The quartet entered a stage of awkward staring and gawking.

"Woohoo!" cheered Toph, who apparently came out of nowhere, "A scandal just before your coronation!? You go, Sugar Queen! Way to give the grapevine some feeding!"

"Oh my," Suki, who appeared just as suddenly as everyone else, gasped, hand concealing her lower face with a slight blush, but one could still feel the smirk.

"Dur…" said Aang intelligibly, still too surprised to know better and remove his hands from the blushing soon-to-be-Fire Lord Katara's waist.

Having discarded shock for rage, Sokka wrenched out one of the scimitars from Zuko and charged at the now panicked Avatar, who realized he was in imminent danger instantly pulled away from Katara and bolted out the building with the edged weapon wielding Sokka close behind.

Katara and Suki both quickly followed after, having realized that one's boyfriend was about to become mutilator and the other's boyfriend was about to bleed a lot.

Zuko also gave chase, demanding that Sokka return his blade so he could retrieve his rightful title from Katara.

Toph went out there just because she thought it was fun.

Instead of cheering, the crowd outside was now hustling with confusion and bewilderment as well as astonishment.

"_Aang! You stinkin' rabbaroo dung! Get back here so I can chop off your hands!"_

"_Sokka! C-calm down! Aang! Watch out!!"_

"_Why isn't anyone helping me!?"_

"_Dammit! Sokka, give me my sword back so I can beat your sister!"_

So peace was delayed for a couple more days, and the day would become a tale known to every tavern throughout the lands.

* * *

AN: I'm back! Kind of. Katara was the one who defeated Azula, so she should've been Fire Lord! Technicalities be damned. But seriously, I have no idea why I wrote this. Just trying to get back into my groove, I think.


	16. Gaang, Frenzy

Ba-dump-ba-dump-ba-dump-ba-dump-ba-dump-ba-dump-ba-dump-ba-dump-ba-dump-ba-dump—

BA-DUMP…… BA-DUMP…… BA-DUMP…… BA-DUMP…… BA-DUMP…… BA-DUMP…… BA-DUMP……

—ba-dump-ba-dump-ba-dump-ba-dump-ba-dump-ba-dump-ba-dump-ba-dump-ba-dump-ba-dump—

… BA-DUMP…… BA-DUMP…… BA-DUMP…… BA-DUMP…… BA-DUMP…… BA-DUMP…… BA-DUMP……

—ba-dump-ba-dump-ba-dump-ba-dump-ba-dump-ba-dump-ba-dump-ba-dump-ba-dump-ba-dump—

… BA-DUMP…… BA-DUMP…… BA-DUMP…… BA-DUMP…… BA-DUMP…… BA-DUMP…… BA-DUMP……

—ba-dump-ba-dump-ba-dump-ba-dump-ba-dump-ba-dump-ba-dump-ba-dump-ba-dump-ba-dump—

… BA-DUMP…… BA-DUMP…… BA-DUMP…… BA-DUMP…… BA-DUMP…… BA-DUMP…… BA-DUMP……

—ba-dump-ba-dump-ba-dump-ba-dump-ba-dump-ba-dump-ba-dump-ba-dump-ba-dump-ba-dump—

… BA-DUMP…… BA-DUMP…… BA-DUMP…… BA-DUMP…… BA-DUMP…… BA-DUMP…… BA-DUMP……

"Ahhhhh!" Toph screams, throwing her hands up, "That's IT!! I can't take it anymore!! Just KISS already!!"

Surprised, both Aang's and Katara's heads snap sharply to the earthbender's irate outburst.

"_BA-DUMP_, _BA-DUMP_, _BA-DUMP_!! That's all I hear!" she points an accusatory finger at the couple who now have sore necks, "Why can't you two pump blood together somewhere FAR AWAY or at least QUIETLY like us normal bipedal creatures of the world!? The tension!! It's raping meeeeeee!!" she screeches toward the sky, pumping her arms up and down.

Aang looks at the ground, embarrassed, while Katara begins to look enraged.

The waterbender opens her mouth to retort, buts yelps instead as the earth beneath her propels her and Aang a couple of feet into the air.

She ends up landing on top of the startled Avatar, their limbs tangled together and their lips slamming into each other's unceremoniously.

"YES! There! I've solved the problem of your suppressed need to molest each other! Now stop contracting your hearts at unreasonable speeds and spare my delicate ears—h-hey!? Wh-what are you g-guys doing!? S-stop that!! I didn't say to start SUCKING each other's faces!! NO! I don't want to feel that! Wha…? AAAAHHHH!! HOLY URINATING BADGERMOLES!! STOP STRIPPING EACH OTHER!! Have you no shame!? I'm right HERE!! AAAHHHH!! NO! I refuse to be traumatized at such an early age!! AAAHHHH!! RUN AWAY!!"

Toph, arms flailing and shrieking, escapes into the forest, to be lost for three days.

Far away, for reasons that elude even himself, Sokka starts screaming in rage.


	17. Aang and Sokka, Castlevania

Swift and agile and brave and other protagonist-building adjectives, Sokka Belmont traversed the evil stone corridors of _Castlevania!_

Upon reaching the innermost sanctum of the lair of the vile fiend that was repeatedly reborn throughout history, Sokka whipped out his trusty whip, er, boomerang!

With an air of might surrounding him, he raised the projectile, um, mightily toward the dark throne, to the lollipop-stealing-koalasheep-kicking-evil-doer-who-refuses-to-die figure, who is also a jerk, and also, surprisingly, just a scrawny kid with a tattooed, bald head.

The lord of the sinister, dark lair smirks evilly, an act he finally perfected after having practiced for hours in front of a mirror, at the foolish hero.

With a deep, heroic voice that conflicts with the character, the hero spoke: "Die monster! You don't belong in this world!"

The evil lord smirked even more evilly. "It was not by my hand that I am once gain given flesh. I was called here by humans who wish to pay me tribute."

"Tribute!?" the hero scoffed with disdain, "You steal men's souls, and make them your slaves!"

"Perhaps the same could be said of all religions," the ever so evil being countered.

The hero sneered. "Your words are as empty as your soul! Mankind ill-needs a savior such as you!"

"What is a man?" the still evil lord asked oratorically as he dramatically tosses a glass of…onion-banana juice? Um, yeah, it shattered gangly yellowish to the floor in a pile of smelly ooze, "A miserable little pile of secrets! But enough talk……I'm off to bang your sister!"

With a swoosh of his cape that always he had but wasn't mentioned, the grinning and indeed very evil being disappeared before the flabbergasted hero could stop him.

"Wha-wait! Get back here, you dirty sunava bitch!!"

* * *

AN: I have no excuse. I just realized the Avatar keeps getting reincarnated while a certain evil, evil character in a certain game called Castlevania keeps getting resurrected and my brain just sort of did something. That, and for some reason I just find an angry Sokka to be very funny.


	18. Team Avatar, Funky Undead Outbreak

She shivered from his musky-wet, sultry breath caressing the fair skin of her neck, teasing her, _feeling_ her, making her mind dazed from the hot, bothered sensation creeping up from her center.

So she pulled back her head back and rammed it into his face as hard as she could.

After hearing the loud, pained squeal and the sound of body flopping on earthly ground, Suki leapt away from her would-be unconventional assailant and into a defensive stance, flushed and trying to catch her breath.

"What was that for!?" the tanned teenager managed to wail pitifully from the heap that was his crumbled form on the ground after nearly half a minute of groaning.

Suki discovered the meaning of indignant. "What do you mean 'what was that for!?' You know perfectly well why!!"

"Oooowwww…! I think you broke my nose! What did I do to deserve this?" He whined childishly from his place on the ground before he covered his nose with both hands.

Suki found herself sputtering with good cause. "You were going to _bite _me!"

"Duh!" he bellowed nasally through his hands, "I'm a vampire!"

Suki felt her temper rising further. "That doesn't give you permission to _puncture_my neck!" She rather liked that particular body part, thank you very much.

The tanned vampire (which is completely weird, since don't vampires burn easily? Like, spontaneous- combustion-sily) didn't answer back, and continued to groan pathetically in an overly exaggerated fashion.

For some inexplicable reason, Suki felt contrition for what she did after the waves of miserable moans assaulted her hearing. Maybe she had been too harsh. He seemed pretty harmless. And he _was_ pretty cute.

She relaxed her stance slightly, and in a horrible rendition of the cha-cha, started shifting her footing left and right, moving cautiously next to the vampire.

She leaned toward him, trying to see through his hands and at his face. "Um, are you going to be okay?"

Giving the girl no time to realize her fatal error, the vampire flashed from his position on the ground and in a display of impressive speed trapped her in a vice-grip hug.

"Heheheh, gotcha!" He declared smugly.

"Cheater!!" Suki shrieked as she cursed her own feminine wiles.

* * *

"So," Katara intoned, "you're a vampire?"

"Yup!" The supposed vampire confirmed cheerfully, and pulled his lip up. "See?"

Katara blinked at the sharp, elongated fangs. "Wow. I guess you weren't lying. You really are a vampire."

The pale (now confirmed vampire) boy grinned good-naturedly.

"Um," she started, unnerved by the vampire boy's lack of hostility, while discreetly looking for an escape, "so, are you going to, well, suck my blood now?"

The vampire looked scandalized. "What? No!"

Thoughts of escape washed away to unexpected surprise, and subconsciously, a slight ire. After all, wasn't that what vampires do? Going around in the night being all evil, seducing and draining the blood of innocent and beautiful maidens with luscious hair, dark skin, and pretty, pretty blue eyes?

Her hands went to her hips as she frowned. "Why not? Is there something wrong with me?"

The vampire's cheerful smile degenerated into cautious apprehension at the girl's not-so happy expression and was quick to placate. "No, no, there's nothing wrong with you! I just don't do that. Not my thing."

Katara's eyes narrowed dangerously. "Not your thing? What is that supposed to mean?"

The boy's grey eyes lit up. "I'm a vegetarian!" he proudly announced.

The girl was taken aback. "There's no such thing as a veggie-eating vampire!"

The apparently herbivore of a vampire shrugged helplessly. "Well, I am."

Katara never felt so insulted in her entire life.

* * *

He pulled his head back and retracted his fangs.

His hands were still gently resting on the girl's shoulders as he gazed at her fair face to gauge for a reaction.

She merely returned his gaze with the same look of boredom and dispassion that was set upon her pretty features since he had crept into her bedroom and performed the standard ritual of vampirical seduction.

So much for those extra tutoring lessons.

Vampire Prince Zuko couldn't help but feel emasculated and thus, angry. "What is with you? Don't you have anything to say at all? We just shared an intimate moment here!"

She raised an eyebrow at him before tilting her head to the side. Despite the twin holes in her neck, she bled surprisingly little.

She yawned.

Zuko fumed. First she all but ignored his sensual seduction, now she had the audacity to be _bored_!?

"I am the Prince of all vampires!" He declared snobbishly, "I command you to give me the respect my position entitles me!"

She fixed him another bored glance and fingered her neck, feeling the undeniable proof of his mark upon her.

Prince Zuko inwardly smirked, and was about to comment on this when, for the first time of the entire awkward affair, the young maiden spoke.

"You have small fangs."

Zuko choked on his rage.

* * *

"Whoa! Not so fast there, buddy!" she exclaimed as she kept his looming form at bay with unexpected strength in her delicate arms, "just what do you think you're doing?"

He wracked his brain for a brilliant lie. "Err……I was gonna give you a romantic kiss?"

She huffed at him, sending several strands of ebony hair flailing. "I'm blind, not stupid! You were going to go to town and chow down on my neck! Wait, are……are you a…" she trailed off as she leaned closer, whispering conspiratorially, "…a _sexual predator_?"

To say Sokka was unsettled was an understatement when the petite girl's porcelain face morphed into a perturbing grin.

"Ummm, _No_……" he denied slowly, careful of making any sudden movements that might incur the creepy thing before him to jump like a sprung-trap.

The girl looked oddly disappointed, but he inquired none as some thoughts are better left buried in the depths of the disturbing human mind.

"So what the hell are you? Some revamped cannibal on the loose who feeds on sweet, innocent little girls to sate his never-ending primal hunger?"

Never mind how accurate her description, Sokka still felt extremely offended. "Don't lump me in with those disgraceful low-lives! They have the crappiest table manners I've ever seen."

"Fine, Mister Hissy Fit! Enlighten me to your o' so mysterious identity then!"

He rolled his eyes, aware she couldn't see, and coughed into his fist once. "I'm a vampire. Vampire. Coolest thing since monkeys on unicycles? Now, if you'll excuse me, I believe I was hungry."

He leaned to feed from the veins under the tender flesh of his supposed victim, but found himself being pushed back again.

"A vampire?" She exclaimed, looking absolutely delighted. "That means if I let you bite me, I'll be turned into one as well, right?"

His brain processed the question. "Huh. Guess so." He looked down at the creepy thing. "On second thought, maybe I shouldn't—"

"Too late!"

And then he was dragged into a darkness even vampires haven't ventured forth.

* * *

"Just a little bite!" She cajoled as she tried to hold the squirming vampire down, "I promise I'll taste good! I eat a lot of chocolate, so my blood is probably flavored! Think about it! Chocolate flavored blood!"

"No! You can't make me! I don't wanna!"

"Is it diseases you're worried about!? I'm perfectly healthy! My doctor said so!"

"I told you already! I'm a vegetarian! I don't drain blood!"

"Liar!!" she accused loudly, now practically straddling the terrified young vampire, "There's no such thing as a broccoli-loving vampire! Th-there's something wrong with me, isn't there!?"

"No, no!" The boy cried, holding the girl's wrists to keep her from completely pinning him down, "You're very, very pretty and, um, sexy! If I was any other vampire, I would totally suckle you! B-but I—"

"Then bite me, dammit! If you think I'm pretty you will prove it by biting me!"

"I-I'm sorry, but I just don't glide that way!"

"Excuses! I won't have my prettiness be denied!"

"Can't we just cuddle!?"

"Suck me, damn you!"

"Help! I need an adult! I need an adult!"

"Suck me!!"

* * *

Zuko growled. "You know what? You-you-you're just a big _blah_!"

As far as attention-attracting methods go, even he had to admit it was pretty lame, but he was desperate.

A slimmer of hope crawled up his cold, dead heart, when she spared him a brief glance, but then she immediately returned to her accursed book on, as far as he could tell, gothic poetry from dead people.

He swore dejectedly and in a huff, jumped off her bed and toward the window, grumbling unhappily.

He pushed the window open and propped one foot on the ledge, preparing to leave, and nagged his brain for at least a good one liner to depart with to salvage some of the good amount dignity he had definitely parted with.

The vampire was so busy racking his brain for a witty line that he didn't sense the girl's movements until she was directly behind him.

When he did, he whirled around in surprise, and was further shocked as the previously inactive maiden gripped him by his shirt and practically shoved her tongue down his throat.

Wow, um, she's really good at it.

After what felt like a time-induced shock treatment to jumpstart his non-beating heart, she pulled away and regarded him with the same bored, disinterested eyes, but with the significant differences of a tilted head and a microscopic smile.

"See you tomorrow night?" she asked softly and shrewdly.

After forcing his mind to reboot and stop gawking, Zuko groaned with defeat.

"Yeah. Just don't lock the windows. I can't change into mist yet, and there aren't any pebbles in your yard. Also, I refuse to go through the backdoor only to be pepper-sprayed by your mother. Again."

* * *

"That was……wow, that was just……_amazing_…"

He grinned smugly. "That was just a lil' taste of Sokka at work, babe."

He idly wondered if he should start bringing cigarettes with him. After all, somehow he always ended up naked with his 'meals' on a bed, with only a sheet to cover their nude bodies, and didn't these occasions call for cigarettes to accompany the afterglow?

Nah. He was Sokka, he was simply too cool to conform to clichés.

"So," his auburn haired companion began as she rested her head against his (self insert: manly) chest, "was it amazing for you too?"

He smirked. "Oh yeah, that was definitely some kind of an experience, Judy—"

"Ty Lee."

"—Tiffany, you're something else."

The girl giggled despite the mess-up with her name. "Well, I guess it was kind of a silly question. After all, I _am_ your first."

"Um, yeah," he confirmed warily, now remembering his blatant lie.

But hey, the chances of her finding out was underground, as long as he kept his mouth shut—oh, crap, he just jinxed himself!

As according to the norm, the bedroom door flew open and broken into splinters, and two very unhappy women wearing calamitous expressions came barging in.

"You bastard!" Suki swore, looking absolutely furious, "you told me I would be the only one!"

"S-suki! Th-this isn't what it looks like—"

"You promised me we would go human-hunting together!" Toph cried.

"Toph! I-I know I did, I just, um—"

"_You told me you would love me for all eternity_!" Yue exclaimed tearfully as a sudden guest entrance.

"Y-yue! You know I do, babe, but y-you're kinda—"

He immediately stopped talking as Suki and Toph growled ferociously, their fangs extending like execution daggers, while the specter Yue continued to sob woefully.

He turned toward his bed-sharing companion, who was biting her lip and glaring at him viciously with beads of tears in her eyes.

"L-look, I know how this seems, Stephanie—"

"It's Ty Lee!!"

And with that, the righteously angry group of women pounded on the vampire Sokka, who learned what it felt like to die while technically being already dead, and that polygamy is never, never acceptable, especially if your mates are vampires.

* * *

AN: Once again, I have no excuse. I just couldn't get this out of my head after I did that Castlevania tribute. Hope you all find it at least somewhat funny. Feel free to tell me what you think, thanks!


	19. Team Avatar, Toasts

"We are gathered here today, at this gloriously spacious dining table decorated by these beautiful dining wares, to witness a magical, momentous occasion: the joining of two very good friends—hm? _What is it, Katara? I'm trying to make a—huh? It's the wrong speech? B-but that's what's written on the napkin! It's the minister's napkin? Wh-what should I do then? K-katara, w-wait!_ Ummm………(throws away napkin) (cough) So, er, the first time I met Zuko was at the South Pole, when he was still an angry jerk—I mean, misguided teen! Yeah, that's it. And he was attacking the civilians to capture me—because he was misguided! He didn't really do anything bad on purpose! Well, maybe except when he tried to burn down Kyoshi Island village. B-but that's all in the past! He's more than made up for it. He even betrayed his uncle once, and still managed to redeem himself. Er, maybe I shouldn't have mentioned that. Umm…… err…………cheers? (huge intake) _Bleh!_ W-wait! Is this a-alcohol? I c-can't—whoaaaa………Katara, you look hawt. (thump)."

* * *

"So, I just want to say a few words about the happy couple. It's such a wonderful occasion, seeing two of your friends finding happiness in each other. Especially Zuko. I'm really glad he's married now. I had been sort of worried, I mean, way back then when he was in his angsty, angry teen years and was on his expedition to capture Aang, he literally chased us to the ends of the world like some…some obsessed _fangirl_ ! He was stubborn and relentless, and disregarded anything unless it had something to do with Aang! Heck, I could've been naked for Spirit's sake and he still wouldn't have given me a second thought. That degree of an obsession couldn't have been normal! So I surmised that he was kind of……(queer hand gesture) you know? B-but clearly that's not the case! I mean, he's married now! And to a, um, very feminine friend of mine. A-and when I said I was glad, I really meant I was happy for them! Happy for them! Very happy! I mean, this couldn't have happened at a better time. I was already starting to worry that he and Aang were spending too much time together—by which I mean I was worried they were overworking themselves! Yes, that's it! Ugh, where's my drink? (takes a huge chug) Anyways, um, may happy days be in your future and may the stars shine on your path or something. I-I'm going to sit down now. Oh, and I call name dibs on your firstborn!!"

* * *

"Hahahahahahahaha! Oh, man! This is absolutely EPIC!! Our lil' Zuzu is now married! You have no idea how happy this makes me! It's like the world's most infamous, demented concoction of a comedy show! Zuko, the firebending, prickled-stick-up-the-butt-angry, honor horny, bedgerfrog romancing, Angst King of all jerkbenders is MARRIED! To a girl that's TOUGHER than him! Do you mindless masses understand the implications!? I see the pants in this relationship and it sure ain't on the guy who used to have an ostrich-horse's derriere for a head! He's gonna be whipped I tell ya! Whipped I say! They say behind every strong man is a stronger woman! They got that right, and that dainty gal is the one pulling the strings, as well as the kinky set of bedroom play toys! You can bet their first, _and probably last_, night of passion is gonna be one blinking heck of a skeleton in the closet! But hey, those robes are good at hiding a lot of things sides' just knives, eh!? EH!? Aaaahh, you guys are no fun. Huh? What do you goons want? Hey! Hands off, buddy, I'm not done yet! I am not drunk! Le' go of me! Help me, Friendly Mushroom!!"

* * *

"Bwahahahahahahahahahahahaha! I can just see it now: (turns to one side) _Hey, Zuko, let's make love. _(turns to other side) _Not now Mai, it's my brooding time._ (turns back to the other side) _Zuko, what did I say about stealing my makeup?_ (once again to the other side) _But I need it to feel pretty!_ (Sokka's distant voice: _You go Toph!_) Wahahahahahahahahahahaha, oh badgermoles, my lungs are failing—hey, who's touching my cake!? DIE!! (earthbends)"

* * *

" (looks around at the demolished area) Errmm, so, huh, congratulations. Enjoy the honeymoon, um, bye."

* * *

"……………………………………………."

"……………………………………………."

"………………………at least Momo gave a good speech."

"…………………………I hate everything."

* * *

AN: I have no idea about this one either, just something I cranked out in thirty minutes. Anyways, a few people seemed to like Aang, the Vegetarian Vampire, so be on the lookout for his triumphant return, along with Katara. Just one more update to go, and I'm done with this.


	20. Zuko and Ozai, Loose End

Footsteps echoed throughout the narrow, confined structure of the corridors. A heat permeated within the very air that was in direct contradiction to the cold, eerie stillness of amongst the burning torches and flickering shadows. Upon reaching the cell where a recumbent man of long, grisly black hair and tattered clothes lay against the far wall, the footsteps silenced.

The man's eyes shimmered with unconcealed loathing and a twisted smirk glared at the source of the footsteps. "Back again so soon? I'd imagine the ruler of an entire nation would have much more important matters to deal with than visiting me in this filth of a prison cell. Or have the weight of your undeserved position finally make you realize how much of a weak, pathetic wretch you are?"

Zuko snorted hotly, fixing the man a cold glare. "Hardly. It's amazing how a network of trusted friends and confidences can pull you through even the most difficult of situations. But you wouldn't understand any of that, would you?"

Ozai exhaled from his nostrils sharply and turned away in contempt. "Hmph. Support beams for the weak. Equally as brittle."

Zuko almost rolled his eyes as he stooped down to Ozai's level, gold eyes flashing dangerously. "You know why I'm here, now talk."

Ozai chuckled darkly. "Do I, now? I'm afraid you're making undue assumptions of my memory." He said nothing more, merely fixed him a discourteous stare.

Zuko glowered at him in return, and the air between them seemed to distort and vibrate subtly more intensely.

"You think you're so clever, that this'll be your final descent against me that I can never hope to brunt. But just because you dangle it before me, doesn't mean I'll take the bait."

He slowly rose to his full height, staring at the man coldly. "There are ways to make a man squeal."

Ozai grinned at him wickedly. "Why, Fire Lord Zuko, you would even resort to unseemly methods? I wonder what your subjects and _friends_ would think of you if they knew."

Zuko bared a toothy grin. "Please, just what are you insinuating? Torture? As if."

He motioned to the guards outside. They nodded and disappeared from view briefly, and brought with them more footsteps.

"Remember what I said about friends?" Zuko questioned, "I've got one that has a seven-inch skull, but oddly enough, ideas tend to pop out of his brain at the most opportune times. His name is Sokka. You'll need to know that when you're cursing his name and mine."

Just as the Fire Lord finished speaking, a group of _bizarre_ looking humans dressed in loose, peculiar clothing and wearing ridiculous ornaments appeared next to the scarred teen.

The apparent ringleader of the group was a man who had eyes that were drooping as much as his body stance with unregulated hairs sticking out to and from. In his arms, he held an uncommon music instrument that Ozai couldn't quite recognize—wait, a pipa?

"Whoa," the apparent ringleader expressed, "dark and creepy, maaan. Kinda reminds me of a song. Now how did it go…?"

"W-wait," Zuko interjected, "not yet."

He gestured to the guards, and one of them hastily unlocked the sturdy, iron gate to allow the Fire Lord to scurry outside, and sealed it upon Zuko's crossing, leaving only Ozai and the assemble of strange creatures.

Ozai blinked.

"Okay," Zuko said through the peephole, "you can go ahead now. By the way, that man in the, um, lounge is a fan of folksongs."

A twinkle flashed across the ringleader's unfocused eyes. "Really? Well, I've got just the song for you……."

* * *

"—_and so the singing groundhogs daaaanced—uh, wait, Lily, how did that part go again?_"

"ZUKOOOOO!!" Ozai screamed wrathfully, face lodged between the bars of his cell, "IF YOU'VE EVER THOUGHT OF ME AS A FATHER, YOU WILL KILL ME!!"

"_Tell me where Mommy is, and I'll make it stop!!_" Zuko demanded through the peephole.

"NEVER!!"

"_Suit yourself!! Hey, Chong! Secret tunnel!!_"

"Uh? Oh, yeah. I think I remember something like that. _Secret tunneeeeeeelllll…secret tunneeeeeeelllll……_"

"AAAARRRGGGHHH!!"

* * *

AN: Welp, that's it. I'm finished with this. As in, forever. Goodbye.


End file.
